Hard Skills Get You Hired. Soft Skills Get You Fired.

How did you get to where you are today?

Asking questions and being curious. 

Coming out of school, you do not always know what you want to do. I have a psychology BA, and when I graduated, I started working in mental health in Atlanta. The job just was not being done right, and I started questioning how they were treating some of their clients. They let me go for it. 

Looking back, the pushback I gave was because I cared about the people I was serving. That is what sent me to get my master's in industrial-organizational psychology. It gave me the human perspective on work, the language for things like work-life balance and ERG groups, and a way to use my psychology background to make workplaces better and help organizations hire the right people for roles. That is how I found my way into HR, into people leadership, into recruiting.

What are the biggest lessons that path taught you?

1. Ask questions. 

2. Help people you do not know, because you never know what door it opens. 

3. Try new things even when you have no experience in them.

4. Don’t underestimate the power of relationships. 

• I have been a recruiter in the tech space for a while, and I do not know anything but how to start a laptop. But when I sit with a hiring manager and they explain what they need to me in kindergarten terms, I can go find that great candidate every time. I am recruiting for teams I know nothing about. What I know how to do is build the relationship and take the time to understand. In return, they give me the details I would never have known to ask for.

• So communicate with everybody and be kind to everybody. You never know who is going to help you.

When you are hiring for your own team, what does an ideal team player look like?

Someone hungry and eager to learn. Someone who communicates and is not afraid to ask questions. Someone who wants to see the whole team win, not just themselves.

I am not looking for a know-it-all. I am looking for someone willing to learn and willing to help. We are on a team, which means you have to be able to pivot and jump in. Tell me what you need before the last minute. Something that is hard for you might be a breeze for me, and I would rather help than watch you struggle in silence.

And do not be afraid to have fun. Ask me the question you think is silly. We will laugh, and then we will figure it out. Tell me what book you are reading, because I might need to read it too. I keep an open door, and I treat people like people, because that is what we are at the end of the day.

On the other side of that, what is a common mistake that hurts a team?

Energy is transferable. So bringing bad energy to your day-to-day harms the team more than you might realize. 

When someone does not want to be there, the whole team feels it. Everyone starts walking on eggshells, with tight lips, afraid to ask that person anything. It is worse when you are client-facing, because people can feel a team that is not really a team. It quietly discredits the work.

You lead a team. How do you build the kind of culture you actually want?

Icebreakers and one-on-one check-ins. You have to check in on people, because I do not know what you are carrying at home.

I promote taking time. People are scared to take it because they think they will fall behind or their job will be at risk. You cannot fill the cup of the company if you cannot fill your own cup. It is the airplane rule. Put your own mask on first.

The rest is small and consistent. An icebreaker like "if you could transport anywhere right now, where would you go?" Remembering the book someone mentioned, or their kid's birthday, and showing up with it. Little things that say I am thinking about you and you are not just a number here. That is what builds a team.

How do you find mentors?

I watch a person for a while before I ever reach out. It is never "let me message this person and see if they can help me." I spend time seeing what they do for other people first.

Calling someone your mentor is an honor, and it should not be given lightly. This is someone who shapes your influence and where you go, so you have to be mindful about who you let into your space and whether they actually align with where you want to be.

A good mentor gives you tools, not just advice about work. Mine have helped me think through my finances, my next five years, what my resume needs to look like, when I have outgrown a company, and when it is time to pivot. They also tell me the ugly truth and then talk me down when I am spiraling.

What is the biggest challenge you see candidates face?

Imposter syndrome. In the African American community, and for a lot of women, there is this feeling that you are not deserving of the role, so you do not negotiate. You take the bare minimum without asking for more.

I tell the people I mentor to go through the job description line by line. If you can speak to every single item on it, why on earth are you asking for the minimum? If the skills are there and you can advocate for yourself, go for the top.

Imposter syndrome tells you that you are not supposed to have a seat at the table. You can, in fact, have a seat at the table.

Looking ahead, what is the one skill that will matter most?

Hard skills will get you hired. Soft skills will get you fired.

People are leaning on AI and chat tools for everything, and that is fine. But a lot of them no longer know how to communicate or show empathy. You still have to walk into a room, know how to carry yourself, know what to wear, know how to shake a hand, and be a person. Do you show up on time? Do you email people back within a reasonable window? Can you communicate with your manager and actually get your deliverables done?

Part of it is dropping the entitlement too. You are not just handed a six-figure job. You start somewhere, and then you have to know how to keep the job and keep the relationships, because you never know when your next opportunity comes knocking.

What is one thing you want to leave with our readers?

Do not be afraid to ask for help, and do not be afraid to network. You never know who is in the room willing to help you, and if they cannot help you, they know who can. 

Treat everybody with kindness. Be mindful of the people around you. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

And be kind to yourself. Things are moving fast right now, and it is genuinely hard, so do not give up just because it is hard. Mental health is real. Take the therapy, use the ERG groups, take the days off you need. When you are job hunting, ask questions and ask people for ten-minute coffee chats. Do not burn out and do not make your job your whole life.

Last thing. It is always okay to start over. People are terrified of it. Go back to school, learn the trade, whatever it is. To grow, you have to be uncomfortable, so get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Do it scared.

Thank you so much for sharing, Arabia!

If you’re interested in learning more about Arabia and the work that she’s doing, check out her LinkedIn here.